#RudePeopleMustFall

It’s not so much about what you wear. It’s more about how you wear it. It’s also not so much how you wear decent clothes, but more that you are decent in character.

As we move into a more modern age, with everything becoming more commercialised, more ‘out there’ and loud, we often lose focus of what really matters.

People are angry and rude which is why they have little respect. I see it in the work place everyday.

I used to think perhaps it was me, that I was doing something wrong, but as I grew older and worked for longer, I realised it was never me.

We have moved into a more ‘free’ society – but are we really free?

It is NOT ok to be rude to someone even if you are upset.

It is NOT ok to throw a tantrum at the office if someone hasn’t done something (there could be many variables why they didn’t, why don’t you find out nicely?)

It’s NOT ok to think you are better than others because you have a higher ranking at work, or otherwise.

It’s NOT ok for you to spread your miserable attitude onto others

I am tired of rude people.

#RudePeopleMustFall

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Mind your language!!!

I’m Ro.

I’m South African of Indian descent.

I follow a Hindu philosophy.

I am neither Tamil, Hindi, Telegu, Gujirathi, Urdu, Sanskrit or Arabic. I can however, converse in Hindi, Tamil and Sanskrit.

Does that make me less of a person?

No!

If anything, it makes me more!

More versatile. More learned. More open minded. More diverse.

The old age battle between people who speak North Indian languages, commonly known in SA as the ‘bread ous’ and people who speak South Indian languages – the ‘porridge’ ous – is what is wrong with our Indian people!

Sure, one can be proud of ones language, but does it have to be better than another? Does it have to make you seem more socially elite to another? … Like… WTF???

Who cares that you’re Tamil, Hindi or Gujirathi speaking? Are you a good person? Do you have good values? Is your moral compass true to righteousness?

Why are there temples and places of worship that only sing in Tamil, Gujirathi or Hindi? Do you think God blesses you more based on the language you choose to praise with?

Come on Indians! Wake up! Stop being so backward! How can we have racial freedom when we don’t even have equality within our own race.

Do not be sucked into an old school of thought.

It’s ok to marry another, it’s ok to speak another, it’s ok to embrace another.

Let’s be forward thinkers. Let’s not encourage our children to be prejudice. Let’s be bold to be the change!

#BeingIndian
Follow @TheFrontRo or @RoannaBala

Behind the glory, lives the madness 

When Shiv was born, I instantly forgot about all the troubled days my hubster and I underwent. It was a long journey. We were tested to a point of explosion.

If you’re planning on having kids, perhaps you should consider taking some notes now. Have you heard of a condition loosely called, PUPPP? It’s basically a skin rash that is common in your third trimester. It itches continuously and the more you try to stop scratching it, the more it itches and scabs all over your body. Only  1 in every 200 first time mums get this horrid condition and 75% of these ‘infected’ mums birth boys. It has to do with your hormones rejecting that of the baby’s. This experience is like death – warmed up – and the only cure is actual birth! Can you imagine!?! 

I happened to be unfortunate enough to get PUPPP in my last trimester! It was a gruesome roller coaster for my hubby and I. We spent hours awake applying camomile lotion all over my body which only gave me an hour of satisfaction untill the itch began again. 

It got so bad that I became extremely emotional and was forced to go on maternity leave early. 

I would sit in my room all day with the icy aircon and watch TV to take my mind off the itch. I tried everything, creams, ice, soaps, Indian remedies…. NOTHING! I had no choice but to bear this out till the end of my pregnancy. 

Here’s what it looked like (you may want to skip this if you’re too sensitive)

  
It first appears in your stretch marks on your belly and then it spreads to your legs and arms. This photo was taken only in the first week of me getting PUPPP, it got pretty bad by the time I was ready to give birth.

The other challenge of pregnancy was my weight gain, water retention and swelling. My body held so much water that I could not walk, sit or sleep. To add to the trauma of my last trimester, my hands and feet started burning and became itchy, this, I was told was normal along with the  edema in pregnancy. 

My will power was tested, I felt like God needed me to be ready for motherhood and so he made sure I was strong. 

When Shiv arrived, I instantly forgot about everything and the most important lesson I learnt was that nothing goes according to plan in pregnancy. 

I was all set to have a natural birth, but Shiv wasn’t engaging, and so on the day he was due I asked my doc to please take him out as I could no longer function as a normal human being. 

When the doc pulled him out she said I was right to go this route as the umbilical chord was tightly wrapped around his neck and had he engaged he would have gone into distress and it would be an emergency c-section anyway! 

Looking back I realize everything happened in favour of us having a gorgeous, healthy baby. Being pregnant for me was a roller coaster … But it’s so worth it! Having my Hubster help me on this journey and be my strength is what kept me sane.

We are blessed to be human, and we are blessed to learn how strong we truly are through God’s tests, trials and miracles.

Now I embrace the challenges of motherhood, and I say BRING IT ON! 

  
Follow @TheFrontRo 

I am LOUD

  

I am LOUD

I want my voice heard

I am a woman of expression

I speak

I am condemned for the voice I have, being told to hush and be silent

Why is my truth frowned upon? 

I am a representation of all things real 

I am the believer. The fighter. The talker.

Why do you judge me?

You who chooses secrecy over transparency?

You who chooses scandal in the dark over confrontation in the light

I am loud, and so, I am fierce

I am a woman with a voice

Do not judge my tone, judge my character

Do not judge my face, but rather my personality

I am LOUD… And it’s time I made a noise. 

TRADITIONS: To be or not to be… 

    
In a world of fake boobs, lip jobs, tummy tucks, women empowerment, freedom of speech, working mums and no time – it’s pretty safe to say that we don’t have time for tradition. While some tradition is good, most customs and ‘ways of life’ are slowly becoming annoying, time consuming, useless and a thing of the past.

Take women for example, we are powerful in the work place and at home. Hubsters/partners are good with cooking, chores and babies! And while it all comes together perfectly amidst the madness, I often wonder how aweful it would have been had it not changed! 

Some traditions are wonderful to have and rightfully so. Like, prayer traditions, family traditions and traditions we started with our childhood friends. But when do we draw the line? 

Let’s look at one of the oldest Indian traditions – living with your mother in law – as an example. How often does a daughter in law say, “I love living with my mother in law?” Yeah, I thought so too – almost all women never say this! Why? Well there are many reasons, but the main reason is because of how the world has changed. We have become so modernized that living in a house where we are not in charge is fast becoming the cause of heart disease and depression in women. 

Women have a natural ability to care and be the organizers (sort of like an ops exec or MD), when she feels compromised, she acts out and finds ways to change her circumstance.

Men on the other hand are the protectors and doers – the CEO of his family. He is supportive, understanding and a forward thinker. When he feels compromised he too will find ways to bring back balance and equilibrium.

Both his and her attributes, character and personality work in unison to survive this high paced, crazy society!

Do you have traditions you think should die? What are they, and why do you think it useless for our modern times? 
Follow @TheFrontRo @RoannaBala

Home… 

Last night I returned to my marital abode

Leaving the comforts of my maiden home, 

To resume my duties as a good wife 

To begin my journey with my little joy

Last night I felt sad

I missed my dad

I felt empty not seeing mummy 

She told me it would be hard

But she never told me it would be this hard

I want to go back home!

To the little girl I once was

But no matter how much I want to go back, I must grow up for my joy! 

Mum says I will be fine, just like her and gran…

Now as I think about my own family…

I realize, mum was right 

She left her home to make my home, and so I must quest on

To do the same for my joy.

I must be strong – I must be brave! 

And everytime I think of going home 

I will remember why you never did

You chose us

And so ….

I must choose mine

 

My gift from God 

I didn’t think it would happen so quickly. I mean, I was in the midst of preparing for my dance show and really did not have time to ponder on anything that was remotely unrelated to show biz. I had taken the entire week off just to make sure the show was perfect! 

I rewarded myself with a pizza, and as I got ready to indulge, my thoughts took over. I just couldn’t brush off the feeling. I needed to know, but since it was 3 days before the show, I thought – was I crazy to add more pressure on myself? “Perhaps I should wait untill after the show?” “NO!” I debated. The anticipation was far too much. I had to know now… I needed to know… 

Off I darted to my car and sped off to the nearest pharmacy.

“I would like to purchase a pregnancy test,” I whispered. The lady smiled at me and said, “Here you go, good luck!”

“Thanks so much,” I replied and made my way out.

Driving home seemed endless and daunting. As the anxiety took over I slammed on my accelerator. The quicker I got home, the sooner I would know. 

At 29 years old you’re probably thinking – what’s the big deal, she is old enough – I guess you would be right. In fact, “if I am pregnant then I will have made all those people who said my clock is ticking quite happy”, I thought. Still, I felt the pressure and instantly felt like a scared little girl again!

I didn’t have any signs. I wasn’t bloated, no pain, no morning sickness, no craving…. But wait… I was meant to get my period… “Oh crap!” I yelled. 

I was finally home and was now waiting in the bathroom. Five minutes felt like a lifetime away and as I waited my feet tapped to the sound of my pounding heart as I felt my blood vessels begin to heat and my veins begin to swell. 

I looked at my watch… It was time. I picked up the stick, and there it was! Two very confident red lines. I read the instructions again and checked the stick once more. In 5 minutes my entire life had changed. In 5 minutes my world became meaningful beyond measure. I had purpose. I belonged. I had a reason for this life. 

I took a deep breathe and smiled. “Thank you Gurudev!” I whispered. I could not explain my elation. How was it possible for me to feel such happiness? I was surprised at my reaction. There was a miracle inside me, and God had chosen me to be a mother. I was blessed. Truly blessed! 

Now, at 39 weeks, I eagerly await my little rascal’s arrival and I hope he or she learns the power of true love – it’s a magical feeling indeed!